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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Dawg Day Afternoon

Do you know that line about truth being stranger than fiction? And have you seen Best in Show? I ask only because Ms. Slab took me to the 131st Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show at Madison Square Garden yesterday.

A few observations:

1) There may be something compensatory about doggie Eugenics. Why, you wonder? Pound for pound, this was the oddest looking group of people I've ever seen assembled in one room. I tried to keep my eyes on the canines but it didn't always work. To wit, that Great Pyrenees” I caught on camera turned out to be a middle-aged woman with a perm... on all fours... in a giant white fur coat.

Now I'm no “Oscar De La Renta,” but with all those stylists, combs, sprays, etc in the area, you'd think more people would try primping themselves. As for the sassy lady who announced it was “time for the bling” then slipped on a sequined vest circa-The Big Apple Circus, 1984? Only those “old lady rapping” commercials make more deeply discomforting use of irony as entertainment.

2) I hope some of these people don't have kids. Like the frisky handler who, after not winning in her canine's category, elbowed me in the ribs and yelled “don't PUSH ME”!!! OK!!!!!! The kicker? An approving nod from an onlooker who answered my question (“is she insane”?) with a defense (“she does have a dog”). Alas, I did not have a billy club. And not to go all Ann Landers on you, good reader, but aren't dogs typically less couth than their owners? As one astute 7-year old put it, “these people aren't very nice.”

3) Dogs are super cute and hi-larious. For all the nonsense, stress, anxiety, ego, neurosis, etc gumming up the air, most of the animals could have cared less. What's more, some of the owners and chaperons actually seemed like decent folk having fun with their animals. So in that spirit, we present a special Dawg Day Edition of The Porkchop Express, highlighting a few of our Westminster favorites...We used to have a Cane Corse so I have a real soft spot for their cousin the Neapolitan Mastiff. What goofy bastards. I dunno what this guy eats, or what his name was. But he looks like the lovechild of a hippo, a pork chop, and a waddle.Angel, a 3-year old Mastiff from Colorado, likes salmon, short walks to her pillow, long naps, and occasionally flaunting her moneymaker.
French Bulldogs crack me up, and this grouchy gus was no exception. I love that “what the hell is your problem” look. Maybe it's the cheese?Joe - an apricot brindled Mastiff from Milford, New Jersey - was a real crowd pleaser. He was also a dog of fine taste. His favorite foods? Pizza, swiss cheese, Budweiser, and... kielbasa. Homeboy is always welcome at our house.How classic is this shot? These two were great, above and beyond the fact that Shar-Pei = pure hilarity.

And that, my friend, concludes our fine interlude. Back next week on the search for delicious!

Til Tuesday,

–J. Slab


Blogger gouge away said...

these pics are great...I went back to the bench section too, and one of the 'junior handlers' who was on the floor Tuesday night was shoving her way through with a dog that didn't even belong to her.

2:44 PM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Seeing as I turn to you for all my banh mi advice, I'm wondering if you've been to Paris Bakery [113 Mott St (at Hester St)] yet.

11:59 AM  
Blogger J. Slab said...

heya, apologies for the delay... i was summoned out of town this week. will try and hunt down my Paris Bakery photos, and post a full review tomorrow...

1:44 PM  
Anonymous Barbara said...

Hey there. Absolutely loved all the comments with the pictures. Wish I had found this blog a long time ago. Great job. Thanks


5:07 PM  
Anonymous dog training said...

These dogs are so cute, thank you very much for sharing them.

12:45 AM  
Blogger daniellaprice30 said...

My aunt has adopted too many dogs because she never had a child. She even treats them to the dog boarding in Long Island every time she has a business trip.

5:27 AM  

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